The oak

Kneeling down by the old oak
The black sky overhead masking his quivering lips
And somber appearance
silhouetted against the drive

He gently released the flowers from his grip
And shed a soft tear
That trickled down upon the earth
And spread throughout

The site in front,
Memories of what used to be,
And what could have been
Sent him back

His face now about to break he shouted
"Why" to the heavens above
He pounded the dirt and cursed the sky
And threw the flowers and kicked the oak



But there was nothing he could do
The curve was too sharp and the car too old
And we were all just kids
With nothing to lose
until
we
lost
it
all

Westward

the exit ramp was ahead
(vegas, next right)
neon lights illuminating the path
(or were they flourescent)
the cold concrete calling my name
(the pungent smell of disaster)
but isn't it just flash photography
(without the photography)
on a larger scale?
(i'm really lost ya know)
so i pressed on
(traveling for travel's sake)
amid the glittering signs, radient lights
(that lost all meaning)
continuously aching to be touched
(and i lost interest)
at the end of every new bend
(the ups and downs)
but with every heart beat
(i still feel mine)
with every second that passed
(an eternity)
my nerves began to cool
(i'm just tired)
and relax
(a small nap)
and dissolve into the fabric
(that i overslept)
i am one with the vehicle
(its hard to imagine)
and none with a heart
(but i still love you)

In these dreams I'll be

It's not that I can't sleep
It's that I can't stand the pressure
Of sleep
I don't have any dreams worth dreamin
I've dreamt them all
And my dreamin brain
Is tired of the pain
So I wll feign
And remain
A part of the game
Cuz I don't wanna be some worthless stain
Or in your parade the rain
Or even an Abel to your Cain
I just want to me
As lonely as that can be
Cuz it's real
That's all I can see
In these dreams I'll be

monday depressions

Sleep:
Some take it for granted but not I
See, I haven't slept in months
I mean really slept
I'll get in bed and fake innocence
Only to get out a few hours later and regognize my despair
Of not sleeping
Of not resting my mind
Of not loving
I'm a creature of habit
And my habit is despair and regret
I wish I could shake
But he creeps up unnoticed
like the many expressions seen on my face
It's not a correlation to you, but to me
Cuz I'm so depressed with these activities
And these non-activities
That set me free
But only for a little while
And sooner or later I'll be back here
In my regret, in my despair
Searching for you.

I hope I find you soon
Another weekend alone will be miserble
And intolerable

Motion

I wake to see you
Your face brings a smile to mine
And I think I'll get through the day
If I can just work up the spine

See I loved you then and always
But you went away for long
And I began to wonder
Is this really I mean really the right song

Then I remembered our times
Our smallest rhymes
Our begining times
That set us in endles motion

I woke with the memory
Just couldn't shake it off
I saw your face that night
Waiting for something, the smallest cough

You said "what...what"
With your quivering lips
And it sent me dreamin
with those endless dips

Then I remembered our times
Our smallest rhymes
Our begining times
That set us in endles motion

You knew my weaknesses
The way you left the room
The way you said goodbye
God, I'll be the groom

If you'd just let me in
I'd only have the smallest sin
I'll keep wonderin
And it aint no game but i wanna win

Cuz I'll be here forever
And I'll hold onto the memories if nothin else
Cuz it's all i got right now
And I wanna be myself
But baby, I want you more
I want you more
I want you more
I want you and me in endless motion

If you got the C4 i got the hammer

I'll sit here, polishing the posts
Wondering what a world without
Mindless dribble
Will be
Because I'd give it all up for one moment
One glance
One kiss
With you
Cuz that's all I have going for me
And that's all I'll need
To end these restless nights
These pointless days
These tasteless foods
These wordless poems
And I'll live forever
In my mind
And your thoughts
Cuz I'm broken baby
And you got the glue
But the cap is stuck
And it's hard to pull that trigger
But all you'll need is a knife
Sharp enough to cut plastic
But hard enough to withstand
Steel
Which is how my heart has grown
After years and months of anguish
And intolerables
But somehow that heart
Has sprouted a seed
Which lies deep
Within enemy boundaries
Guarded by Lightposts
And snipers
And landmines
And conscious thoughts of what is right
And wrong
In a world without
Mindless dribble

Bounce

Maybe it was my youth that set me bouncin
See,
I was really only born 6 months ago
Somewhere far far away though
In an ascending heaven nonetheless
Stretching just above where we should reach
But falling short of impossible
Which is probably strange place for anyone
And you probably wouldn't like it at first
But when you first hear your heartbeat
Reflecting off the empty voids that surround
And bounce
Bounce
Bounce around like lotto balls in a giant glass sphere
that somehow emcompasses your life
and hers
and not a sole else
till finally they lay still
And rest
And absorb into the first person you told
"I love you"
Because they've found a home
At least for now but hopefully
for a little longer
Its a marvelous feeling
And a marvelous memory
And you'd feel marvelous too
If i told you it was you
That set me back
Every time
I look in your eyes
Which set me
bounce
bounce
Bouncing off the walls
And into your heart.

Appointments or Dead Lines

Theres two types of people
Living in my circus
Those that are too busy for life
And those that life is too busy for
And I suppose they both have their
Selling points
But as i see a man
Working all day over a desk
Only to travel home
And trim the hedges
And shine his shoes
And dust his trophees
Never really understanding
Never wanting to understand
He's too Busy to understand
He's not really happy
But then I see a man
Wandering the streets
Not a care in the world
(Not a shirt on his back)
Apathetic to anything
He's had too much time to think about it
He thinks he understands
Maybe he does
But it doesn't matter
Because either way
He's not really happy
But then I see a man
This man makes his life
Pondering the ways of others
The almightly questions
He's found the equilibium
Because being too busy
Can drive you insane
But freedom
Can be your most dangerous enemy
This man, this free-thinker, this poet
Found his balance
on the tightrope of life
When I toppled into the abyss
Fortunatley there was a safety net
Stuck somewhere between
happiness and loneliness
frustration and fulfillment
sanity and schizo
That seemed to capture my friends as well

MOnsterrrrrrrrsss

There comes a time
In every young mans life
when he stops
opening the shower curtain,
glancing under the bed,
checking the closets.
I can't wait for that day

Yessir Nossir

One thousand suits
all lined up
ready to mingle,
meet and greet.
flys in a web we are
stuck between the boundaries
of hope and freedom
the two most dangerous evils.
and I live in a dream
where lines and semicolons
float
Where normal is abstract
and anxiety rings
from speakers overhead.

That guy you didn't know

He was born in a cardboard box
Across the street
He spent his days
Wandering this good earth
Soil was his poison
Travelin' his nature
But always
Yearning for more
Never knowing when it was time to move on
But doing so anyhow.
A travelin' man ya see
Is always on the run
From what or whom is unknown
But finding hope in every new city
He'll stay
Just long enough to not be missed.
Life
He says
Is more than the nature trail
Is more than the flourescent lights
More than the picket fence
Or five course meals.
Life
He says is how you find yourself
Through the mess of webs
Through the deceits
Through the hardships.
Life
He says is how
You and these events collide
Forming an interwoven mesh
Like the rag
Draped upon his back
Or the napsack
Resting on his shoulder.
Society may label him
You may not notice him
But I,
I call him a friend

No return address

She stole my heart
That night
Her body pierced sunlight
Against the night sky.
She kept my heart
Locked in my throat
Wanting to burst through
The cage it's been kept
And explode,
Infecting everyone
With this terrible disease.
She returned my heart
In a brown paper bag
Folded at the top
With my initials
Scribbled in green magic marker.

From end to end

I crossed this fellow
At the top of the road
The place where we need rides
(The place we've all broken the law)
This fellow
Had double duty today
Sale today!
Two bags for the price of one
Plus one of the female sort
Strapped end to end he was
What's good I said
Beneath the glasses
Beneath the pimples
And nerdy veneer
He knew it
That's love I said
That's committment he said
That's embarrassment I said
Get out of here
With your glasses and pimples
And nerdy veneer.

our little hideaway

Theres this undefinable moment
when everything goes blank
and all thoughts evaporate
like the fresh morning dew
or that equation you thought you remembered
This moment
is more enjoyable
is more important
is better than any you've experienced
because
your completely lost
but you love it
because
you know she's feeling the same way
It's when two hearts beat as one
it's when you could stand there a minute
and it'd be an eternity
and you're burning to tell her
but you don't
and it's not because you're in public
or because your scared
or because your worried how she'll respond
but it's because you love her

Red Carpets

Our eyes met
Just enough
to send fire through my veins
It keeps me going
(keeps me alive)
And I'd do anything
to see you now
to feel your hand pressed against mine
to hold you
And I'll die trying
To keep myself from kissing
your soft skin
your innocent smile
(just for now)
In my mind
you walk on red carpets
and I'm no king
but fit enough for a jester
maybe one that could somehow
steal your heart
And lock it up.
Because you've already taken mine.